Sunday, March 16, 2008

WE GOTTA MOVE THESE REFIGERATORS; WE GOTTA MOVE THESE COLOR TVs

What's the point of having 400 channels if there isn't a damn thing on there you want to watch?

Billy Clyde's default position is usually to look at ESPN, the cable news networks, or The Weather Channel. Granted, ESPN and TWC do great work. But unless you really care whether Florida Southern covered the spread against Georgia Tech, or whether it will rain in Rhode Island, it's not exactly like attending a major movie festival. Even one of my former favorite channels, CourtTV -- now renamed TruTV -- has quit showing compelling courtroom action of trailer park trash spouses accused of killing one another and now features sea shell collecting specials and exclusive reports on bungee jumping.

The cable news shows, though, are much worse. They are trying to cram political news down the throats of their viewers when no political news exists.

Take a break. If no political news occurred, then talk about something that did. Personally, I like the hard-hitting stories about teacher-student sex. Others probably favor color pieces about Missouria wheat farmers who win the lottery and consider splurging on a new pair of overalls. Hell, I dig L.A. car chases. Even though you know how it's going to end, there's always the chance of news helicopters colliding or maybe a little gun play.

The newspapers and political magazines seems to have received the message. But MSNBC, Fox News, CNN, et al apparantly didn't get the note. On Tuesday evening, I cut on the teevee to see what was going on. And was informed that the channel -- can't remember which one -- would be providing "wall-to-wall" coverage of the Mississippi primary results. What? These networks don't have time to remind us of the name of new president of Russia or clue us in on the bond market crisis, but can offer "wall-to-wall" coverage of a primary in a state I've only been to three times and probably has fewer voters than Harris County?

I'm not a judgmental guy. To each their own. But in Billy Clyde's book, this was not exactly Must See TV.

The two network shows I try to watch -- The Office and 30 Rock -- are supposed to be back on the air shortly. And The Road to the Final Four and The Masters are right around the corner. Thank Gawd!

Just wish Bob Newhart would bail us out of this tedium.

8 comments:

M said...

Where o where have you gone, Billy Clyde?

dmw/p said...

You haven't posted in awhile, and now I guess I understand why. We will miss you, Billy Clyde, and your gentle but cutting humor. Rest in peace, my darling.

showlush said...

Damn. This just seems so...wrong. I second the gentlewoman from Harris County. So long, Sir and fare thee well.

Jennifer said...

I will miss you, Billy Clyde!

Unknown said...

No one could tell a Texas political tale quite like you, Billy Clyde. The only thing more extraordinary was that they were all true. We love you and we'll miss you.

MJSamuelson said...

I heard about Billy Clyde earlier today. We miss you already!

westway3 said...

I recently found your work and enjoyed it tremendously. Its just a damn shame you leaving us this soon. I was once a Sgt. at Arms in the Senate, worked with Gov. Bullock, and as a TX lawyer still have my fair share of TX political dealings. Your perspective and insight was refreshing, familiar, humorous, sharp, smart, and needed. Hope to join you in the big chamber in the sky one day, we'll chat...

showlush said...

We'll miss you tomorrow, BC.