Billy Clyde never could work that Rubik's cube contraption. Things involving spatial relation just puzzle me.
Other stuff I just can't get: playing the piano (tried and failed), game theory (math should be barred from the study of the liberal arts), soccer (America is the LEADER of the free world, not a follower), Northern California (though it's nice to look at), the inverted yield curve (did economists just make this up to confuse us?), and conch (chewy, tasteless seafood!).
But politics. Now politics is pretty simple. That's why BC is nothing short of stunned that upwards of two percent of the teevee-watching public is hooked to their 52-inch high definition plasma screens following the presidential race in absolute wonderment. It ain't exactly a man walking on the moon or France falling in love with Jerry Lewis.
Mike Huckabee and Barack Obama won the Iowa caucuses for basically the same reason: voters yearn for a little civility, a little humor, a little inspiration, a little hope. Forget issues and specific styles and backgrounds -- these two guys are a lot alike. The store shelves carried a full line of products, and consumers picked what they were looking for.
In New Hampshire, Republicans are gonna pick Obama again (for the same reasons) and John McCain, who also shares those above-mentioned qualities but is just a little grumpier. Voters in the Granite State are a little grumpier than the nation as a whole, and the dude is a 71-year-old POW who was tortured for half a decade by the Viet Cong. Pretty good excuse for being a tad irritable now and then.
Mitt Romney has not only run a terrible campaign, he comes across as a space alien. It's too late now, but if had talked about nothing except his executive experience ("I've turned around major businesses and will turn around the way Washington does business") and told his story about cleaning up the Olympics, he would have had a shot. But all the Bain Capital money in the world can't save him now.
Hillary Clinton has run a whiny, impersonal campaign of entitlement and is in fact a space alien. She reminds people of the high school chick who thinks she's popular when in fact she simply was the first to get a drivers license and a car. Plus, whoever advised her to set herself up as the "chosen one" is bonkers. The folks in Iowa and New Hampshire are some of the world's greatest contrarians.
There will be three big stories after tomorrow's R primary. McCain is right back in the thick of things, Huckabee's third-place finish is a semi-win, and Romney is toast -- although he'll probably still waste some more of his money.
On the D side, Obama will be described as invincible, and that story will play out again in two weeks when he wins South Carolina by 20 points. The media and pundits will call Hillary deader than Elvis, and John Edwards will be the only real candidate left standing. And that's just in case a dead-girl/live-boy situation crops up in the Obama camp.
Now you might be thinking, Bill Clyde, my main man, you are greatly oversimplifying our great process to select the major parties' candidates to lead our nation and world. No I'm not.
The nerd who tries to analyze the race by comparing the various nuanced differences in position papers and voting records has spent too much time with his nose stuck in the latest copy of the National Journal. It comes down to this: Do you want to be inspired and made a part of this wonderful journey, or be lectured to and sent to your room without dessert?
See that wasn't so difficult. Let's have some ice cream.
Other stuff I just can't get: playing the piano (tried and failed), game theory (math should be barred from the study of the liberal arts), soccer (America is the LEADER of the free world, not a follower), Northern California (though it's nice to look at), the inverted yield curve (did economists just make this up to confuse us?), and conch (chewy, tasteless seafood!).
But politics. Now politics is pretty simple. That's why BC is nothing short of stunned that upwards of two percent of the teevee-watching public is hooked to their 52-inch high definition plasma screens following the presidential race in absolute wonderment. It ain't exactly a man walking on the moon or France falling in love with Jerry Lewis.
Mike Huckabee and Barack Obama won the Iowa caucuses for basically the same reason: voters yearn for a little civility, a little humor, a little inspiration, a little hope. Forget issues and specific styles and backgrounds -- these two guys are a lot alike. The store shelves carried a full line of products, and consumers picked what they were looking for.
In New Hampshire, Republicans are gonna pick Obama again (for the same reasons) and John McCain, who also shares those above-mentioned qualities but is just a little grumpier. Voters in the Granite State are a little grumpier than the nation as a whole, and the dude is a 71-year-old POW who was tortured for half a decade by the Viet Cong. Pretty good excuse for being a tad irritable now and then.
Mitt Romney has not only run a terrible campaign, he comes across as a space alien. It's too late now, but if had talked about nothing except his executive experience ("I've turned around major businesses and will turn around the way Washington does business") and told his story about cleaning up the Olympics, he would have had a shot. But all the Bain Capital money in the world can't save him now.
Hillary Clinton has run a whiny, impersonal campaign of entitlement and is in fact a space alien. She reminds people of the high school chick who thinks she's popular when in fact she simply was the first to get a drivers license and a car. Plus, whoever advised her to set herself up as the "chosen one" is bonkers. The folks in Iowa and New Hampshire are some of the world's greatest contrarians.
There will be three big stories after tomorrow's R primary. McCain is right back in the thick of things, Huckabee's third-place finish is a semi-win, and Romney is toast -- although he'll probably still waste some more of his money.
On the D side, Obama will be described as invincible, and that story will play out again in two weeks when he wins South Carolina by 20 points. The media and pundits will call Hillary deader than Elvis, and John Edwards will be the only real candidate left standing. And that's just in case a dead-girl/live-boy situation crops up in the Obama camp.
Now you might be thinking, Bill Clyde, my main man, you are greatly oversimplifying our great process to select the major parties' candidates to lead our nation and world. No I'm not.
The nerd who tries to analyze the race by comparing the various nuanced differences in position papers and voting records has spent too much time with his nose stuck in the latest copy of the National Journal. It comes down to this: Do you want to be inspired and made a part of this wonderful journey, or be lectured to and sent to your room without dessert?
See that wasn't so difficult. Let's have some ice cream.
1 comment:
"I don't know what the world's coming to. Can't have sex, Can't eat food. Next thing you know, it'll be a crime to tackle the sumbitch with the football."
Billy Clyde you were right on the mark with McCain and close on Obama. All I can say is: "I feel like an idiot because I just now discovered "Rude Behavior" and am reading it, almost as we speak. Why don't someone tell me when a great work of literature is published. Albeit (ex-journalist speak for 'fuck if I know)it was published 10 years ago.
Dick
Beaumont 'Don't smother me with your chemicals' Texas
http://eightfeetdeep.blogspot.com
Post a Comment